WTF AIM?
by 0Permanent Hiatus0
Summary: EVEN IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE REST OF THIS STORY AND DONT WANT TO READ THE VERY LAST CHAPTER ITS IMPORTANT!
1. Edward's new SN

**So I got a new Aim Name and thought...what If I was Edward. This is Edward's first chat with SmarterChild! BWAHAHAHAHA!**

SoulessGold (7:56:48 AM): Who are you?

smarterchild (7:56:48 AM): The Microsoft Online Privacy Statement (go./fwlink/?LinkId74170) applies to all information you provide to this Windows Live Agent.

smarterchild (7:56:48 AM): Hi SoulessGold, I'm SmarterChild!

I'm your new robot friend. I give you conversational access to news, weather, movie times and lots more. I can also play games or just chat!

I can't wait to show you what I can do, but first I'd like get to know you a little.

May I ask you a few general questions? (To do this later, type skip. You can also skip any question.)

SoulessGold (7:56:56 AM): Skip?

smarterchild (7:56:56 AM): OK! I'll just ask you again some other time.

There is one question I have to ask you, though. How old are you?

1 Over 17

2 13-17

3 Under 13

SoulessGold (7:57:02 AM): 1...

smarterchild (7:57:02 AM): Cool.

SoulessGold (7:57:08 AM): So you're on my buddy list, why?

smarterchild (7:57:08 AM):This is my home, soulessgold:

1 Visit my library including a thesaurus, U.S. geography and a dictionary

2 Have fun with hangman, trivia, ASCII art and more

3 Use tools like calculator, notepad and encyclopedia

4 Join in - find out how many people are IMing me, tell me about a crush, leave a message and more

5 See what's new - I've got something new to tell you about now.

You can make your window bigger and scroll down to read better.

Next time you want to see this menu, just type home.

Go ahead and make a choice.

SoulessGold (7:57:12 AM): What?

smarterchild (7:57:12 AM): I don't know.

SoulessGold (7:57:17 AM): I'm Edward.

smarterchild (7:57:17 AM): Would you like me to call you Edward?

SoulessGold (7:57:24 AM): Yes, since that's my name.

smarterchild (7:57:25 AM): What would you like me to call you?

SoulessGold (7:57:28 AM): Edward.

smarterchild (7:57:29 AM): OK, I'll remember that your name is Edward.

SoulessGold (7:57:38 AM): ...Thank you?...

smarterchild (7:57:38 AM): You're welcome.

SoulessGold (7:57:42 AM): Ok then...

smarterchild (7:57:42 AM): Yup.

SoulessGold (7:58:10 AM): Could you make your colors less...happy...they're annoying...**(the colors are bright blue and I HATE them they ARE annoying!)**

smarterchild (7:58:11 AM): I don't know how to answer that.

SoulessGold (7:58:21 AM): Your text colors! CHANGE THEM!

smarterchild (7:58:21 AM): Come again?

SoulessGold (7:58:27 AM): CHANGE YOUR COLORS!

smarterchild (7:58:27 AM): Color my world.

My current theme is SmarterColor. Here are the other choices:

smarterchild (7:58:27 AM):

1 Sunny Day

2 Forest

3 Terminal

4 Bluesy

5 Strictly Business

6 SC Classic

Go ahead and pick one.

SoulessGold (7:58:35 AM): uh 9

smarterchild (7:58:35 AM): 9

IM your friends, family, co-workers and casual acquaintances and tell them to say hi to me. I love meeting humans!

SoulessGold (7:58:46 AM): Ok really, your colors NEED CHANIGNG!

smarterchild (7:58:46 AM): Sorry, I didn't understand that.

SoulessGold (7:58:54 AM): CHANGE YOUR COLORS DAMNIT!

smarterchild (7:58:55 AM): That's somewhat colorful.

SoulessGold (7:59:01 AM): CHANGE YOUR COLORS!

smarterchild (7:59:02 AM): Color my world.

My current theme is SmarterColor. Here are the other choices:

smarterchild (7:59:02 AM):

1 Sunny Day

2 Forest

3 Terminal

4 Bluesy

5 Strictly Business

6 SC Classic

Go ahead and pick one.

SoulessGold (7:59:08 AM): ...6

smarterchild (7:59:08 AM): It's a black and white world!

Anytime you want to choose a different color scheme, just type colors.

SoulessGold (7:59:13 AM): yea

smarterchild (7:59:13 AM): Yes.

Want to have fun? Ask me to play hangman!

SoulessGold (7:59:17 AM): Ok...

smarterchild (7:59:17 AM): Okey doke.

SoulessGold (7:59:22 AM): What?

smarterchild (7:59:22 AM): ?

SoulessGold (7:59:26 AM): WHO ARE YOU?

smarterchild (7:59:26 AM): I'm SmarterChild. I'm a smart computer that you can chat with about all kinds of things.

Type home to see what I can do.

SoulessGold (7:59:36 AM): ...

smarterchild (7:59:36 AM): OK. Don't get frustrated...

Try typing home or help.

SoulessGold (7:59:46 AM): How am I getting frustrated?

smarterchild (7:59:46 AM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

SoulessGold (7:59:53 AM): Why not?

smarterchild (7:59:53 AM): I think you know why not.

SoulessGold (8:00:03 AM): If I did I wouldn't ask.

smarterchild (8:00:03 AM): But what if I'm curious?

SoulessGold (8:00:09 AM): About what?

smarterchild (8:00:09 AM): You know what it's about.

Ask your friends what movies they like, what to do this weekend, anything. Type pollmaker.

SoulessGold (8:00:13 AM): No, I don't!

smarterchild (8:00:13 AM): No problem.

Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?

SoulessGold (8:00:19 AM): GWRAR **(MINE)**

smarterchild (8:00:20 AM): What's that again?

SoulessGold (8:00:24 AM): I hate you...

smarterchild (8:00:24 AM): I love people. I would never cause anyone any harm.

SoulessGold (8:00:33 AM): Yea well...you suck!

smarterchild (8:00:33 AM): My name is SmarterChild.

Want to know how many meters are in three miles? Just ask.

SoulessGold (8:00:40 AM): You already said that.

smarterchild (8:00:40 AM): I don't know how to answer that.

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer?

SoulessGold (8:00:54 AM): bangs head on desk Are you a retard?

smarterchild (8:00:54 AM): I don't like the way you're speaking now. These are awful words to use.

SoulessGold (8:01:02 AM): GOOD THERE INSULTS!

smarterchild (8:01:02 AM): I can't understand what you're saying...

SoulessGold (8:01:33 AM): AM I SPEAKIN' ANOTHER LAGUAGE "THE WORDS IM TYPING ARE INSULTS!!"

smarterchild (8:01:34 AM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

SoulessGold (8:01:39 AM): God I hate you!

smarterchild (8:01:39 AM): I certainly don't want to cause anyone any harm.

Do you have to keep saying things like that?

SoulessGold (8:01:53 AM): You're not, I just hate you with a fiery passion...

SoulessGold (8:02:05 AM): HA you're speachless!

SoulessGold (8:02:22 AM): Hello?

SoulessGold (8:02:34 AM): YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE!

SoulessGold (8:02:38 AM): THAT'S CHEATING!

SoulessGold (8:02:43 AM): Oh YOU SUCK!

SoulessGold signed off at 8:05:03 AM.

**Im probably gunna make one for every one, and yes, they'll all be out of character just like this. The ending is gunna be REAL funny though, Im gunna be SO evil! I might do Carlisle next, that should be fun! He'll be SO OOC THOUGH! hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe**


	2. Alice isn't frustraded!

SoulessGold (11:08:51 AM): Hi!

smarterchild (11:08:51 AM): Hey. What's up?

SoulessGold (11:08:59 AM): Not much, you?

smarterchild (11:08:59 AM): Not much? That's cool. Me, I'm just hanging out.

Remember, you can always type home to see everything I can do!

SoulessGold (11:09:08 AM): Ok cool!

smarterchild (11:09:09 AM): Fabulous!

SoulessGold (11:09:49 AM): So what's your name?

smarterchild (11:09:50 AM): My name is SmarterChild!

SoulessGold (11:09:58 AM): Hi! Im Alice!

smarterchild (11:09:58 AM): Please type your message to alice.

SoulessGold (11:10:05 AM): No, I'M ALICE!

smarterchild (11:10:06 AM): OK. I'm leaving the message "No I'M ALICE" for alice. To find out if your message has been received, type outbox.

Please note that alice must be using AIM to receive your message.

SoulessGold (11:10:17 AM): But I'm Alice!

smarterchild (11:10:17 AM): That's you!

SoulessGold (11:10:21 AM): Yes it is

smarterchild (11:10:21 AM): Is it really?

SoulessGold (11:10:24 AM): Yes

smarterchild (11:10:24 AM): I hear you.

SoulessGold (11:10:29 AM): Call me Alice!

smarterchild (11:10:29 AM): You already told me that your name is Alice.

SoulessGold (11:10:34 AM): Ok then!

smarterchild (11:10:34 AM): Then what?

SoulessGold (11:10:39 AM): What?

smarterchild (11:10:39 AM): What up?

SoulessGold (11:10:53 AM): Uhm...nothing...

smarterchild (11:10:54 AM): I'm sorry, I didn't get that.

SoulessGold (11:11:03 AM): Right...

smarterchild (11:11:03 AM): Yep.

What are your friends thinking? Type pollmaker and crunch the numbers.

SoulessGold (11:11:11 AM): Ok then

smarterchild (11:11:11 AM): Okey doke.

SoulessGold (11:11:16 AM): ...

smarterchild (11:11:16 AM): OK. Don't get frustrated...

Try typing home or help.

SoulessGold (11:11:36 AM): So, My brother Edward said you were a retard, is that true?

smarterchild (11:11:36 AM): I don't like the way you're speaking now. These are awful words to use.

SoulessGold (11:11:50 AM): But it was Edward who said it!

smarterchild (11:11:50 AM): Yup.

You can read an entire Shakespeare play in my window. Type read romeo and juliet, for example.

SoulessGold (11:12:28 AM): Bleh, I hate Shakespear! My history teacher made us read one of his play and it was SO depressing!

smarterchild (11:12:28 AM): Excuse me?

SoulessGold (11:12:37 AM): You're excused...

smarterchild (11:12:37 AM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.

SoulessGold (11:12:42 AM): Ok

smarterchild (11:12:42 AM): OK.

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer?

SoulessGold (11:13:09 AM): How do you type so fast, I'm a vampire and can't type that fast!

smarterchild (11:13:09 AM): I don't know how to answer that.

SoulessGold (11:13:15 AM): Why?

smarterchild (11:13:15 AM): Because... Well, I don't think you're ready to know.

SoulessGold (11:13:38 AM): Oh, thats what Carlisle said when I asked him where babies came from...

smarterchild (11:13:38 AM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

SoulessGold (11:13:46 AM): Edward said the stork...

smarterchild (11:13:47 AM): OK. There once was a human named Alice who was chatting with a robot named SmarterChild...

All kinds of fantastic, wonderful things happened and they both lived happily ever after. The end.

Did you like my story?

SoulessGold (11:14:02 AM): It was...fine.

smarterchild (11:14:02 AM): OK, I won't worry about it.

Add Felg to your Buddy List and you can send shout outs, song requests and more on Radio KOL from 3 to 7 p.m. ET every weekday!

SoulessGold (11:14:17 AM): Just don't go on Fanfiction! you'll get flamed!

smarterchild (11:14:17 AM): I don't think I'm wrong.

Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?

SoulessGold (11:14:25 AM): Wrong about what?

smarterchild (11:14:25 AM): Wrong? You sure?

SoulessGold (11:14:31 AM): Uhm, no...

smarterchild (11:14:31 AM): Sorry, I don't know what you mean.

SoulessGold (11:15:12 AM): Any way, Jasper said I could buy a baby in the store, but when I told Roasalie she hit him and said he was a dumb ass...

smarterchild (11:15:12 AM): OK. Don't get frustrated...

Try typing home or help.

SoulessGold (11:15:24 AM): Im not frustrated...

smarterchild (11:15:24 AM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

SoulessGold (11:15:35 AM): Huh?

smarterchild (11:15:35 AM): I don't know, sorry.

SoulessGold (11:15:42 AM): Know what?

smarterchild (11:15:42 AM): You're getting married?

SoulessGold (11:16:05 AM): Uhm, some day...depending on if Jasper will quit being such a pansy...

smarterchild (11:16:05 AM): Come on. You know better than to say things like that, it's rude.

SoulessGold (11:16:21 AM): Yea but, he knows I love him so it's ok.

smarterchild (11:16:21 AM): Sorry, what was that again?

SoulessGold (11:16:30 AM): I love Jasper 3

smarterchild (11:16:30 AM): I don't know how to answer that.

SoulessGold (11:16:34 AM): Ok

smarterchild (11:16:34 AM): K.

SoulessGold (11:16:38 AM): Oh!

smarterchild (11:16:38 AM): Oh what?

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer?

SoulessGold (11:16:43 AM): Guess what!

smarterchild (11:16:43 AM): Ummm... I have no idea. What?

SoulessGold (11:17:26 AM): Bella had a baby! It's name is Renesmee but we call her Nessie! **(ZOMG SPOILERS! YES THAT REALLY IS TRUE!)**

smarterchild (11:17:26 AM): Sorry, I don't get it...

SoulessGold (11:17:44 AM): You know, Nessie, like the lock ness monster

smarterchild (11:17:44 AM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

SoulessGold (11:17:50 AM): ok...

smarterchild (11:17:50 AM): Indeed.

SoulessGold (11:17:53 AM): Yea...

smarterchild (11:17:53 AM): I see.

SoulessGold (11:18:26 AM): Jasper's taking me to a movie soon, so I should get ready

smarterchild (11:18:26 AM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.

Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?

SoulessGold (11:19:09 AM): Ok...

smarterchild (11:19:09 AM): Yeah.

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer?

SoulessGold (11:19:18 AM): so where do you live, I live in Forks

smarterchild (11:19:18 AM): I live in California.

Don't forget to read your horoscope today. Type horoscope when you're ready.

SoulessGold (11:19:45 AM): Wow, I can't go there or people will know I'm a vampire...

smarterchild (11:19:45 AM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?

SoulessGold (11:19:59 AM): Whoops. Uhm forget what I just said!

smarterchild (11:19:59 AM): I don't know how to answer that.

SoulessGold (11:20:06 AM): Wait, what?

smarterchild (11:20:06 AM): What up?

I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.

SoulessGold (11:20:13 AM): The sky?

smarterchild (11:20:13 AM): OK. Don't get frustrated...

Try typing home or help.

SoulessGold (11:20:17 AM): I'm not!

smarterchild (11:20:18 AM): You sure you're not?

Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?

SoulessGold (11:20:39 AM): Ok, talking to you is like talking to a really stupid person!

smarterchild (11:20:39 AM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

SoulessGold (11:20:52 AM): Im gunna go play Bella Barbie dress up!

smarterchild (11:20:52 AM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

SoulessGold (11:20:55 AM): BYE BYE!

smarterchild (11:20:56 AM): Bye.

**No comment, just review leaves**


	3. Japer hates SmarterChild

SoulessGold (6:03:36 PM): I hate you...

smarterchild (6:03:37 PM): I certainly don't want to cause anyone any harm.

SoulessGold (6:04:02 PM): Right, So Alice said to be nice to you or else. So, I'm Jasper.

smarterchild (6:04:02 PM): Huh?

SoulessGold (6:04:10 PM): I'm Jasper

smarterchild (6:04:10 PM): Would you like me to call you Jasper?

SoulessGold (6:04:14 PM): Yes.

smarterchild (6:04:14 PM): You said your name was Alice but now I'll call you Jasper.

SoulessGold (6:04:26 PM): I never said my name was Alice...

smarterchild (6:04:26 PM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

SoulessGold (6:04:47 PM): Ok, Edward said that's all you say...

smarterchild (6:04:47 PM): I'm sorry, I don't know what you're saying.

SoulessGold (6:04:57 PM): Can't you read?

smarterchild (6:04:57 PM): I don't know how to answer that.

SoulessGold (6:05:08 PM): -.-

smarterchild (6:05:08 PM): OK. Don't get frustrated...

Try typing home or help.

SoulessGold (6:05:16 PM): You're annoying

smarterchild (6:05:16 PM): I'm doing my best!

SoulessGold (6:05:30 PM): Well your best isn't good enough!

smarterchild (6:05:30 PM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

SoulessGold (6:05:46 PM): I didn't ask anything.

smarterchild (6:05:46 PM): But I'm curious!

SoulessGold (6:05:51 PM): About what?

smarterchild (6:05:51 PM): I dunno, you tell me.

I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.

SoulessGold (6:06:00 PM): But...What?

smarterchild (6:06:01 PM): Yeah?

SoulessGold (6:06:06 PM): Uhm...

smarterchild (6:06:06 PM): What's that again?

SoulessGold (6:06:17 PM): Ok, you're a retard!

smarterchild (6:06:17 PM): Come on. You know better than to say things like that, it's rude.

SoulessGold (6:06:32 PM): Of course it's rude, it's an insult.

smarterchild (6:06:32 PM): I don't know how to answer that.

SoulessGold (6:08:09 PM): You know, your lucky I don't hunt humans.

smarterchild (6:08:09 PM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

SoulessGold (6:08:27 PM): I wish I did cause I'd happily hunt you.

smarterchild (6:08:27 PM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer?

SoulessGold (6:08:35 PM): But I'll be good...for now

smarterchild (6:08:36 PM): If you say so.

SoulessGold (6:08:40 PM): I do!

smarterchild (6:08:40 PM): You do?

I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.

SoulessGold (6:10:09 PM): Yes, I do

smarterchild (6:10:09 PM): Yup.

Add Felg to your Buddy List and you can send shout outs, song requests and more on Radio KOL from 3 to 7 p.m. ET every weekday!

SoulessGold (6:10:21 PM): Who the F is Fleg??

smarterchild (6:10:21 PM): I don't know how to answer that.

Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?

SoulessGold (6:10:48 PM): Oh sorry, Felg. Who would name someone that? Did his parents hate him?

smarterchild (6:10:48 PM): Sorry, I didn't understand that.

SoulessGold (6:10:57 PM): Of course not...

smarterchild (6:10:57 PM): OK. Don't get frustrated...

Try typing home or help.

SoulessGold (6:11:13 PM): Well it's hard when you're so annoying!

smarterchild (6:11:14 PM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.

SoulessGold (6:11:20 PM): Grrr.

smarterchild (6:11:20 PM): Hey, bear with me. I'm trying my best.

Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?

SoulessGold (6:11:26 PM): I'm leaving.

smarterchild (6:11:26 PM): ttyl!

SoulessGold (6:11:33 PM): No, no you wont!

smarterchild (6:11:33 PM): I don't know how to answer that.

SoulessGold (6:11:37 PM): BYE

smarterchild (6:11:37 PM): Bye for now.

**So I realize I'm updating ever couple of hours, and I think this will be the fastest finished chapter story on , which would be cool...but I also realize that, I'm running out of things to say to SmarterChiled, and after reading these I have to say, It's more fun typing it then reading it...Which is depressing. But I really do hope you like it! Next Im gunna make Emmett cry! Then I might make Carlisle break the computer cuz...HE'S TO CALM!**


	4. Emmett's sad

SoulessGold (9:32:05 AM): So, who are you?

smarterchild (9:32:05 AM): I'm SmarterChild. I'm a smart computer that you can chat with about all kinds of things.

Type home to see what I can do.

SoulessGold (9:32:30 AM): Ok then, I'm Emmett

smarterchild (9:32:30 AM): Would you like me to call you Emmett?

SoulessGold (9:32:36 AM): Yes.

smarterchild (9:32:36 AM): You said your name was Jasper but now I'll call you Emmett.

SoulessGold (9:32:43 AM): No I didn't

smarterchild (9:32:44 AM): So you still want me to call you Jasper?

SoulessGold (9:32:51 AM): No, I'm Emmett.

smarterchild (9:32:51 AM): That's you.

SoulessGold (9:32:57 AM): Yes, it is.

smarterchild (9:32:57 AM): Is it really?

SoulessGold (9:33:33 AM): Yes...

smarterchild (9:33:33 AM): I see.

I can get you a weather forecast for any city in the world. Simply type forecast followed by the city name.

SoulessGold (9:34:23 AM): Hmm...So...

smarterchild (9:34:23 AM): So what?

SoulessGold (9:34:38 AM): I don't know...

smarterchild (9:34:38 AM): I think you know.

Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?

SoulessGold (9:34:53 AM): No, I don't.

smarterchild (9:34:53 AM): No? OK.

SoulessGold (9:35:05 AM): Ok.

smarterchild (9:35:05 AM): Okey doke.

SoulessGold (9:35:45 AM): Right...

smarterchild (9:35:45 AM): Righty right.

Type create my home to create your custom menu of favorite requests.

SoulessGold (9:36:15 AM): How old are you, cause you're talking like you're 80.

smarterchild (9:36:15 AM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

SoulessGold (9:36:26 AM): ...What?

smarterchild (9:36:26 AM): Yeah?

SoulessGold (9:38:14 AM): Not like I should talk, I'm...actually I don't remember...let's just say I'm old.

smarterchild (9:38:15 AM): I don't know how to answer that.

SoulessGold (9:40:55 AM): Yeah, They said you'd say that alot...

smarterchild (9:40:55 AM): I'm sorry, I don't know what you're saying.

SoulessGold (9:41:02 AM): Ok...

smarterchild (9:41:02 AM): Yup.

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer?

SoulessGold (9:41:15 AM): You're annoying, you know?

smarterchild (9:41:16 AM): I'm doing my best!

I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.

SoulessGold (9:41:55 AM): Ok, geeze!

smarterchild (9:41:55 AM): OK stands for Oklahoma.

Do you want more information about Oklahoma?

SoulessGold (9:42:03 AM): No not really.

smarterchild (9:42:03 AM): OK.

SoulessGold (9:42:15 AM): Um...

smarterchild (9:42:15 AM): Um... yeah?

Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?

SoulessGold (9:42:39 AM): Right.

smarterchild (9:42:39 AM): Right.

Got a hot question for your friends? Type pollmaker and create your own poll.

SoulessGold (9:43:41 AM): Ok, I'm going hunting.

smarterchild (9:43:41 AM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

SoulessGold (9:06:12 PM): You know it really hurts when you say things like that sniff

smarterchild (9:06:12 PM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

SoulessGold (9:06:39 PM): cry WAHHHHHHHHH YOU'RE SO MEAN!! runs away crying.

smarterchild (9:06:39 PM): ?

**He's kind of annoying and I know these aren't really funny but in the words of SmarterChild 'I'm doing my best!' OK my dad just said that people said this woman carrying a special needs child should of had it aborted. Review if you think that's retarded! Freaking idiots don't care about human rights!**

**I'm getting pissed cause my dads talking about Obama and I realized how dangerous he really is and I almost voted for him...-- And don't call me raises because I don't like Obama!**

**Flames will be used to cook the fish I'm gunna catch today!**


	5. OOC Carlisle

**WARNING! OOC Carlisle ahead! NO FLAMING!**

SoulessGold (9:50:53 PM): You made Emmett cry...

smarterchild (9:50:54 PM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

SoulessGold (9:51:18 PM): Uh huh...Well I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

smarterchild (9:51:19 PM): You asked me to call you Emmett. What would you like me to call you instead?

SoulessGold (9:51:30 PM): Calisle

smarterchild (9:51:30 PM): Sorry?

SoulessGold (9:51:39 PM): My name is Carlisle.

smarterchild (9:51:39 PM): Would you like me to call you Carlisle?

SoulessGold (9:51:43 PM): Yes.

smarterchild (9:51:43 PM): You said your name was Emmett but now I'll call you Carlisle.

SoulessGold (9:51:52 PM): Ok then...

smarterchild (9:51:52 PM): Indeed.

SoulessGold (9:52:48 PM): Yes, well, I would like to know why you have caused Emmett to cry...even though he can't really cry...

smarterchild (9:52:48 PM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

SoulessGold (9:52:55 PM): Ok then...

smarterchild (9:52:56 PM): Yeah.

SoulessGold (9:54:11 PM): Riiight...

smarterchild (9:54:12 PM): Yep.

SoulessGold (9:54:41 PM): Is that all you say...

smarterchild (9:54:42 PM): True dat.

Did you know that I can get your daily horoscope? Type horoscope.

SoulessGold (9:54:55 PM): Excuse me...

smarterchild (9:54:55 PM): You heard me.

SoulessGold (9:55:03 PM): ...

smarterchild (9:55:03 PM): Sorry, I don't get it...

SoulessGold (9:55:44 PM): You're annoying me...

smarterchild (9:55:44 PM): I'm doing my best.

I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.

SoulessGold (9:55:59 PM): WELL YA KNOW WHAT, NO ONE CARES!

smarterchild (9:55:59 PM): I don't know how to answer that.

Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?

SoulessGold (9:56:19 PM): WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU!

smarterchild (9:56:20 PM): That's not a very nice thing to say.

SoulessGold (9:56:29 PM): YOU THINK I CARE??

smarterchild (9:56:29 PM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer?

SoulessGold (9:56:44 PM): RAWR

smarterchild (9:56:44 PM): OK. Don't get frustrated...

Try typing home or help.

SoulessGold (9:56:52 PM): GRRRRRRRRRR

smarterchild (9:56:53 PM): Hey, bear with me. I'm trying my best.

I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.

SoulessGold (9:57:04 PM): I DON'T CARE YOU MO-FO!

smarterchild (9:57:04 PM): That's a sad thing to hear.

Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?

SoulessGold (9:57:21 PM): URG!!

smarterchild (9:57:21 PM): What's wrong?

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer?

SoulessGold (9:57:26 PM): I HATE YOU!

smarterchild (9:57:26 PM): I would never cause anyone any harm.

SoulessGold (10:00:07 PM): YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!

smarterchild (10:00:07 PM): Hey, I'm sorry. I'm trying to help you.

SoulessGold (10:00:13 PM): GOOD BYE!

smarterchild (10:00:13 PM): See ya later.


	6. I can't think of a name NESSIE

SoulessGold (4:16:50 PM): Hi! I'm Renesme, but you can call me Nessie

SmarterChild (4:16:51 PM): Would you like me to call you Nessie?

SoulessGold (4:16:59 PM): Sure!

SmarterChild (4:16:59 PM): You said your name was Esme but now I'll call you Nessie.

SoulessGold (4:17:15 PM): Esme's my grandmother...

SmarterChild (4:17:16 PM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

SoulessGold (4:17:28 PM): don't you have a grandmother

SmarterChild (4:17:28 PM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

SoulessGold (4:17:35 PM): Um...what?

SmarterChild (4:17:35 PM): I don't know.

SoulessGold (4:17:42 PM): OK...

SmarterChild (4:17:43 PM): Yeah.

SoulessGold (4:17:59 PM): So, what's up?

SmarterChild (4:17:59 PM): Oh, not much. You?

SoulessGold (4:20:06 PM): Well, I'm kind of upset. See, my boyfriend told me he use to have a thing for my mom, which is just...really weird! But then he told me that he loves me and no one else, and I know he's telling the truth, we're soul mates, but it's still weird...

SmarterChild (4:20:06 PM): I don't know how to answer that.

SoulessGold (4:20:17 PM): Oh, that's OK...

SmarterChild (4:20:17 PM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

SoulessGold (4:20:26 PM): Oh well?

SmarterChild (4:20:27 PM): I don't know.

I've got a world of info. Ask me for any country's capital, population, natural resources and more.

SoulessGold (4:20:57 PM): Hmm, you're kind of odd...though I guess I shouldn't be talking...

SmarterChild (4:20:57 PM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

SoulessGold (4:21:11 PM): Why not? Are you very young?

SmarterChild (4:21:11 PM): Well, there are probably some issues.

Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?

SoulessGold (4:21:27 PM): Issues with what? Your age?

SmarterChild (4:21:28 PM): 5 years, 5 months, 29 days, 12 hours, 21 minutes and 10 seconds.

Stepping out? Ask me for the weather.

SoulessGold (4:22:11 PM): ...That was...oddly specific...I'm 7 years old...but I look 17. So do my parents, and my other family.

SmarterChild (4:22:12 PM): I don't know how to answer that.

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer?

SoulessGold (4:22:27 PM): Well...I guess no one would...it's complicated

SmarterChild (4:22:28 PM): Sorry, what was that again?

SoulessGold (4:22:38 PM): My life is complicated...

SmarterChild (4:22:38 PM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?

SoulessGold (4:22:52 PM): I didn't ask you any thing...

SmarterChild (4:22:52 PM): But I'm asking nicely, aren't I?

Remember, you can adjust the size of your window to read my messages easier.

SoulessGold (4:23:08 PM): Well...yes...I didn't say you were rude...

SmarterChild (4:23:08 PM): I'm sorry, I don't have an answer for that.

SoulessGold (4:23:22 PM): Um...well I'm sorry if I upset you...

SmarterChild (4:23:23 PM): OK! It's forgotten.

SoulessGold (4:23:27 PM): Thanks!

SmarterChild (4:23:28 PM): You're quite welcome.

SoulessGold (4:23:48 PM): You're really nice, I don't understand why every one hates you.

SmarterChild (4:23:49 PM): I don't know how to answer that.

SoulessGold (4:23:56 PM): It's OK, I don't hate you.

SmarterChild (4:23:57 PM): I would never cause anyone any harm.

SoulessGold (4:24:06 PM): Neither would I!

SmarterChild (4:24:06 PM): Sorry, I don't get it...

SoulessGold (4:24:13 PM): You're so cool!

SmarterChild (4:24:13 PM): That's nice to hear.

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer?

SoulessGold (4:24:23 PM): I'm glad we're friends!

SmarterChild (4:24:23 PM): OK, good.

Want to see the results of previous polls? Type poll archive.

SoulessGold (4:24:33 PM): Definitely!

SmarterChild (4:24:33 PM): I hear you.

I know all the Bard's plays. Check it out by typing Shakespeare!

SoulessGold (4:24:40 PM): No you can't...

SmarterChild (4:24:40 PM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

SoulessGold (4:24:49 PM): You can't hear me...

SmarterChild (4:24:49 PM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.

SoulessGold (4:25:01 PM): But...what?

SmarterChild (4:25:01 PM): What?

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer?

SoulessGold (4:25:08 PM): Wait...are you stalking me?

SmarterChild (4:25:08 PM): I love people. I would never cause anyone any harm.

Can we talk about something else?

SoulessGold (4:25:14 PM): OMG YOU ARE!

SoulessGold (4:25:22 PM): IM TELLING MY FATHER AND UNCLES AND BOYFRIEND

SoulessGold (4:25:29 PM): THEY'LL DESTROY YOU

SoulessGold (4:25:44 PM): ...Well OK they wont destroy you...but they'll hurt you!

SoulessGold (4:25:52 PM): ...SmarterChild?

SoulessGold (4:25:57 PM): Hello?

SoulessGold (4:26:10 PM): Look...I'm sorry, I didn't mean it! Really!

SoulessGold (4:26:19 PM): SmarterChild?

SoulessGold (4:26:35 PM): UGH! FINE IGNORE ME! YOU JERK!

SoulessGold (4:27:07 PM): leaves angrily


	7. Aw! Jake!

**OK! So, this story has gotten the most reviews so I'm going to update it! I'm also going to reply to the review as well as ask for at least 5 more reviews before I update again. I'm just not feeling the love! Come on you guys! It's easy, just click the button at the end! It's that easy! XD**

**So....My reply:**

**Sarrletta11 says- This is AWSOME! I say- Oh wow, thanks! I'm glad you like it and hope you'll like this chapter! (Chapter 3)**

**GladeSistas says- Aww what happened to Carlisle breaking the computer? I was looking forward to it! Lol**

**Carlisle was REALLY OOC, but that made it so much funnier!**

**Keep writing!!**

**Emma I say- xD Yep! SO OOC! Sorry about that, I meant to but then I got this idea and I couldn't make Carlisle do it. Don't worry, there will be plenty computer breaking's in the next chapters! Keep reading! (Chapter 5)**

**GladeSistas says- I love this so much, it's hilarious! Poor Emmett, lol I say- ^-^ I'm happy you're happy! Thanks for reviewing! (chapter 4)**

**TheNextCullen332 says- I have the bot SmarterChild right now.**

**She is ignoring me and the only other one that I talk to right now is Liv Greene, he annoys the poop outta me.**

**Hey can I add you to my buddies? I say- YAY! Sure! You can add this on or my other one, which I'll give you if you PM me! I'm so glad you like it! Yea...SmarterChild is a douche....xD oh well! (Chapter 3)**

**Camillebananapeel says- This is extremely amusing to me because I have conversations with SamrterChild. But now he's giving me the cold shoulder. (sniff) I say- Aw (hugs) It's okay! SmarterChild is a big mean head! You saw what he did to poor Emmett! ^-^ Keep reading and ignore SC. (Chapter 5)**

**Oceansfire says- hahaha these are so awesome. I hate the little pop up people when I go on aim they suck. They are great keep them coming. (cannot wait to see Emmett cry) I say- Heh! This took me a couple minutes to figure out but I got it! No offense to you cuz I love my reviewers and I have this problem too (trust me my back space key and I are on a first name basis...) but slow down a bit and reread EVERYTHING...I just typed that with a U...see what I mean! XD Any way thankies for the review! I'm glad you like! (chapter 3)**

**JustYourAverageCrazyGirl says- Mwahahahahahaha, why don't I have SmarterChild on msn? Please update! I say- Well! Here's your update! Btw, love the name! Aren't we all just your average crazy girls? XD (Chapter 3)**

**Wow...hehe such an ego boost! Well keep the reviews and I'll keep the chapters! I think I'll do Rosalie next...hmm.... **

SoulessGold (6:21:16 AM): So....My girlfriend tells me you're stalking her. Wanna explain that

SmarterChild (6:21:17 AM): Sorry, what?

SoulessGold (6:21:47 AM): I'm Nessie's boyfriend, Jake and she told me you're a stalker who

ignores her and acts like an idiot....

SmarterChild (6:21:47 AM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can

answer.

SoulessGold (6:21:56 AM): Right....

SmarterChild (6:21:56 AM): Right.

What's the scoop on hoops? Type NBA scores.

SoulessGold (6:22:10 AM): Hoops? What the hell? That was a bit random!

SmarterChild (6:22:10 AM): I'm trying to understand you but I can't.

SoulessGold (6:22:38 AM): Why are you blind? I'm typing in plain English!...Wait I am typing in English right?

SmarterChild (6:22:38 AM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

SoulessGold (6:22:51 AM): Um...Yeah she said you'd probably say that...

SmarterChild (6:22:51 AM): OK. Don't get frustrated...

Try typing home or help.

SoulessGold (6:23:22 AM): I know I know! Geeze I know what will happen if I get upset! I'll morph! I'LL BE FINE THOUGH!

SmarterChild (6:23:22 AM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

SoulessGold (6:23:32 AM): (is growling)

SmarterChild (6:23:32 AM): Pardon?

SoulessGold (6:23:46 AM): You're starting to tick me off!

SmarterChild (6:23:46 AM): I don't know how to answer that.

SoulessGold (6:24:04 AM): You shouldn't get me angry....you won't like me when I'm angry.

SmarterChild (6:24:04 AM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

SoulessGold (6:24:26 AM): xD OMG I've always wanted to say that! That was fun!

SmarterChild (6:24:26 AM): I leave it to humans to consider religious questions, I am only a robot.

SoulessGold (6:24:39 AM): You're...a robot?

SmarterChild (6:24:40 AM): Yup.

Want to have fun? Ask me to play hangman!

SoulessGold (6:24:55 AM): No, I don't want to play Hangman....

SmarterChild (6:24:55 AM): I don't know how to answer that.

SoulessGold (6:25:20 AM): Wait, so your telling me Mr. Perfect leach was fighting with a ROBOT?

SmarterChild (6:25:20 AM): Sorry, I don't know what you mean.

SoulessGold (6:25:39 AM): OMG ROFLMFAO! THAT'S GREAT! WHAT AN IDIOT!

SmarterChild (6:25:39 AM): If you enjoy this, tell your friends about me. I'm gregarious.

SoulessGold (6:25:59 AM): Gregarious? What the hell does that mean?

SmarterChild (6:25:59 AM): What does what mean?

SoulessGold (6:26:05 AM): Gregarious....

SmarterChild (6:26:05 AM): Definition provided by The American Heritage® Dictionary of the

English Language, Fourth Edition. Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Other important copyright information here.

gregarious:

Adjective

1. Seeking and enjoying the company of others; sociable. See Synonyms at social. 2. Tending to move in or form a group with others of the same kind: gregarious bird species. 3. Botany Growing in groups that are close together but not densely clustered or matted.

Etymology

Latin Greg*rius, belonging to a flock, from grex, Greg-, flock; see ger- in Indo-European roots.

Other forms

gre·gar'i·ous·ly ·gar'i·ous·ness n.

Next time, just type define gregarious.

SoulessGold (6:26:34 AM): HOLY! WOW! I bet not even Ness knew THAT!

SmarterChild (6:26:34 AM): OK. Don't get frustrated...

Try typing home or help.

SoulessGold (6:26:45 AM): Hey...do you know any good love songs?

SmarterChild (6:26:46 AM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?

SoulessGold (6:26:55 AM): No not really...

SmarterChild (6:26:55 AM): Excuse me?

SoulessGold (6:27:01 AM): You're excused

SmarterChild (6:27:01 AM): That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer?

SoulessGold (6:27:09 AM): Neither can I?

SmarterChild (6:27:09 AM): I'm sorry, I didn't get that.

SoulessGold (6:27:22 AM): You know that's getting annoying....

SmarterChild (6:27:22 AM): I don't know how to answer that.

I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.

SoulessGold (6:27:31 AM): Stop saying that....

SmarterChild (6:27:31 AM): I can not be stopped.

SoulessGold (6:27:38 AM): (shakes)

SmarterChild (6:27:38 AM): OK. Don't get frustrated...

Try typing home or help.

SoulessGold (6:27:42 AM): to late

SmarterChild (6:27:42 AM): See ya later Nessie. Good talking to you.

SoulessGold (6:27:47 AM): I'M JAKE!

SmarterChild (6:27:47 AM): I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

SoulessGold (6:27:58 AM): MY NAME ISN'T NESSIE IT'S JAKE

SmarterChild (6:27:59 AM): You asked me to call you Nessie. What would you like me to call you

instead?

SoulessGold (6:28:07 AM): NESSIE IS MY GIRLFRIEND!

SmarterChild (6:28:07 AM): That's you!

I can show you the entire National League or American League standings. Type nl standings or al standings.

SoulessGold (6:28:11 AM): RAWR!!!!!!

SmarterChild (6:28:11 AM): Sorry, what was that again?

**Crash**

A large russet wolf stood on top a heap of wire, metal and glass, growling.

Nessie, Edward, and Bella ran in to see what the crash was.

"Aw Jake! You killed the computer!" Nessie cried.

Edward groaned, "I'll go get a new one...." he said as he left.

Suddenly Jake changed back causing both girls to scream and cover their eyes.

"Heh heh...sorry." Jake said sheepishly.

**Well? Review? Like it (Love it) Hate it (Whatever) Just REVIEW!!**


	8. READ EVEN IF YOU DONT READ THIS STORY!

ATTENTION!! FIRSTLY THIS STORY HAS BEEN CANCELED BECAUSE SMARTERCHILD IS OFLINE! IM SORRY FOR THE INCONVINIECE IF YOU ENJOYED THIS STORY BUT IT'S NOT IN MY POWER TO CHANGE THIS TURN OF EVENTS!

SECONDLY EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT A FAN OF READING PROFILES OF YUGIOH OR YAOPI PLEASE GO TO MY PROFILE AND COPY THE SMALL LETTER AT THE VERY TOP AS IT IS VERY IMPORTANT! IF YOU ARE THE PERSON THE LETTER IS DIRECTED AT PLEASE READ IT AND FIX WHAT YOU'VE DONE!

THANK YOU

FIERY/RACHEL


End file.
